It's the second post for laudable links! Let me tell you, I am loving this new weekly series. I am reading more articles that are increasing my brain power, helping me to be a better person, encouraging me in my Christian walk and adding adventure to my life through others. It's almost like reading a short book.
What is the Purpose of the Home? - Wow. Why have I never heard this before?! That's what I thought after I read this blog post. I never considered the final point but when you do you see how the previous points all tie into that conclusion. It makes sense. It is a beautiful biblical comparison just as Christ and the church are to be seen in marriage!
27 Legends Reveal Tips to Simplify - This is a somewhat long article but some of the thoughts of these simplicity bloggers is worth reading. These are possible ways to change our lives to be simpler.
Tippi of Africa: A Real Life Mowgli - Tippi Degre was raised in Africa making friends with wildlife as if she was one of them. Her story is fascinating to me. I am eager to read the book her parents wrote about her. Birthday present, yes? The book is now out of print and only available on Kindle.
How to Bring Back Laughter - I married into a family who loves to laugh. I married a man who loves to laugh. I married a man who makes me laugh. It's not hard to start laughing and it can change your complete outlook on life!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
running
I never dreamed I would love running. But it all started because the hubs loves it. About two years ago, he began running on the road. He found out it was an incredible stress reliever. He fell in love with running. I occasionally would attempt to run with him but running on roads doesn't appeal to me even now. Knowing that people are driving by me, watching me run isn't exactly a relaxing thought as I huffed and puffed to get one mile in. So, I always gave up with the idea that one day I might be good at it. One day, I would try again. Since we have moved, it has become a reality. Now, let me tell you, it certainly has not been fun some days. Just last week I barely made it a mile and a half and felt like I was going to suffocate. I could have sat down and cried but the optimistic hubs cheered me on and told me I did great anyway. He is my main motivator. He is the reason I don't give out and give in. He is the reason I wanted to run. Because running means more time with him. Running means I get to share a hobby that he loves. It means we get to talk about it and I actually know what he Is talking about! Now, every where we go I pay attention to shoes, not always because I am a girl and love shoes, but because I just want to know what running shoes they wear and if they are dirty or worn out and such. Now, I pay attention to their posture and the way they run when I would have had no idea before that there even was a right posture.
But we aren't road running. That's right. I still don't want people watching me sweating as I chug along when it feels like I won't make it any further. We have taken to the trails. We are secluded, only nature sees me. And I do love watching the deer run away as we get closer, the butterflies flying away and the squirrels scamper up the trees. I love the gradual inclines over roots and the slippery mud that makes you focus. I love the small steps that become almost a dance as you avoid rocks and limbs and roots and puddles. I love the sounds and the smells. I love that it's never the same as the weather changes the scenery and the animals always surprise you. And I love that feeling when I get to the end, even if it's only been a mile and the hubs tells me I did great when two or three miles is cake for him. Then I watch him run off to get some more miles in before he is done and I get excited that one day I will be able to keep up. One day. Thirteen miles seems impossible right now but one mile at a time. And even though he has no idea how much his praise means to me, it makes it worth it. Knowing that he is proud of me.
The final perk of running is that one of the greatest ways to overcome depression and anxiety. It's a proven scientific fact. Running releases the right chemicals in your brain to fight those mental setbacks. I gives you the energy to get up even when it's hard. Your body is at least ready when your brain is ready. And the great part is, even though it makes me feel better each day I run now, when I get to four miles, it releases even greater chemicals for my brain to overcome the mental craziness. For me, that is a motivator. That can change my life, one day at a time. It doesn't cure me, but it makes life so much better.
Running isn't about making the best time for me. Running is about making my life better. It brings me closer to God in that I see his creations, it brings me closer to my husband, and it brings me closer to mental stability. It's a way of living, not a competition. (Though I wouldn't mind winning a 5K trail run one day.) I am so thankful that I have the ability to run, that God has given me legs and feet and balance and eyes. It certainly makes me more aware of my physical blessings that otherwise I might overlook. God is so good!
Saturday, May 18, 2013
laudable links: wife edition (5/18/2013)
If you have read the husband's blog, you know he does a Laudable Links post about once a week. It is a collection of interesting and helpful articles that he has read throughout the week. This is my version of 'interesting' and 'helpful' articles from a female's perspective.
On Loan - I just recently started following the "Raising Homemakers" blog on Facebook. It started because I really want to win the grain mill giveaway! Needless to say, I am enjoying their posts. This one happens to be about who your children belong to and what is your responsibilty to them and God. It reminded me of my friend in Georgia who once asked her daughter what her mommy called her and she replied, "Mommy's Angel." My friend then proceeded to say, that's because God gave you to me for a little while to have and then give you back just like He sent you."
Arrows in our Hand - Denise Skelton blogs about her family. Their story is unbelievable. She has written about her pregnancy trials with all that came in that difficult time and now her beautiful life with her two adorable children and husband. It's a great encouraging read as she raises her children in a Christian home and tells of their adventures!
The Truth About Simplicity - A great article on what living simply is all about. For each person, it may be different, but in the end, it is about cultivating a clutter free mind and life.
On Loan - I just recently started following the "Raising Homemakers" blog on Facebook. It started because I really want to win the grain mill giveaway! Needless to say, I am enjoying their posts. This one happens to be about who your children belong to and what is your responsibilty to them and God. It reminded me of my friend in Georgia who once asked her daughter what her mommy called her and she replied, "Mommy's Angel." My friend then proceeded to say, that's because God gave you to me for a little while to have and then give you back just like He sent you."
Arrows in our Hand - Denise Skelton blogs about her family. Their story is unbelievable. She has written about her pregnancy trials with all that came in that difficult time and now her beautiful life with her two adorable children and husband. It's a great encouraging read as she raises her children in a Christian home and tells of their adventures!
The Truth About Simplicity - A great article on what living simply is all about. For each person, it may be different, but in the end, it is about cultivating a clutter free mind and life.
Friday, May 17, 2013
book review: the good girl's guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex - Sheila Wray Gregoire
Marriage and Sex.
That's what it is about. Hard to guess that one, huh?
But it's from a woman's point of view. A biblically based view of the sexual relationship between a husband and a wife from a wife.
Sheila lays it out there for us. She makes it easy to understand in a godly way. She hits on topics like sexual abuse, premarital sex and then topics like what's appropriate in the bedroom and what stems from the worldly mindset of sex. She also includes descriptions on forms of birth control. Then she gets down to the nitty gritty: it's up to us to have a great marriage because we are the ones to initiate, say yes, or to say no. We are responsible for pleasing our husband's God-given desire that tells him we want him, we love him and we respect him as a man - as OUR man.
Do I agree 100% with everything? No. Do I think is book is needed in many ways? Yes.
We need to be woken up from the world's hold on us about this topic and acknowledge the biblical approach to an intimate, fulfilling, best friends relationship with our spouse. It's a complete circle - we need it all to make it what God intended. And that true completeness must be found in a spiritual connection with God first and foremost.
Favorite quotes:
"Healthy sexuality is not just about our attitudes toward our bodies then, but also, and perhaps more importantly about our attitudes toward God and towards our husband. Sex is really a relational thing that happens to involve our bodies far more than it is a physical thing that happens to have an impact on our relationship."
"Researchers have found that one of the best cures for migraines is sex. The sudden release and euphoria often stop the pain. Frequent sex even seems to prevent migraines."
"When you're alone, express gratitude much more than you express criticism."
"Ladies, if something is important to your husband, it should be important to you."
"The key to a passionate marriage is not to be as sexually adventurous as possible, but to be as passionate about God as possible."
"We've stopped being able to talk and solve problems, and the reason is usually quite simple: we've stopped doing things together. Two people can't solve a problem if they don't first have a foundation of liking each other and laughing together...we need to spend time together."
"The biggest 'should' in your life is about your marriage. You should be enjoying your husband...growing your marriage is the most important responsibility you have, so stop allowing your husband to come last in your list of priorities."
"Children fare best when their parents have a rock-solid relationship. Do not let your children displace your husband."
"A man needs to feel like you're glad you married him, not just because you love him, but because you've looked around and have honestly concluded he is the perfect one for you. You appreciate who he is and what he does. Tied up in all of that is his sexuality. It's hard for him to believe that you're proud of him and that you're happy to be married to him if you don't also want him sexually. If you don't want him like that, then you really don't think he's a capable guy, a strong guy, an amazing guy. You just want to be married to somebody, but you don't actually respect him anymore."
"Your bedroom should be the most important room in the house...make your bedroom a romantic oasis where you can escape into each other's arms, not a place where all the stuff in the house gets dumped, making you feel guilty every time you see it all. This is a place to reserve just for you and your husband and your sexual side of your relationship."
"We take are to look attractive for strangers but not our husbands. But think about this, ladies: who should you be dressing up for? Shouldn't it be e one who is actually supposed to appreciate your body?"
"what do you wear to bed? Do you take care to wear something attractive? Or do you look dumpy?"
"Being ugly does not make you holier. And looking like a frazzled, overwrought, unkempt housewife on e outside does not make your heart godlier on the inside."
Marriage and Sex.
That's what it is about. Hard to guess that one, huh?
But it's from a woman's point of view. A biblically based view of the sexual relationship between a husband and a wife from a wife.
Sheila lays it out there for us. She makes it easy to understand in a godly way. She hits on topics like sexual abuse, premarital sex and then topics like what's appropriate in the bedroom and what stems from the worldly mindset of sex. She also includes descriptions on forms of birth control. Then she gets down to the nitty gritty: it's up to us to have a great marriage because we are the ones to initiate, say yes, or to say no. We are responsible for pleasing our husband's God-given desire that tells him we want him, we love him and we respect him as a man - as OUR man.
Do I agree 100% with everything? No. Do I think is book is needed in many ways? Yes.
We need to be woken up from the world's hold on us about this topic and acknowledge the biblical approach to an intimate, fulfilling, best friends relationship with our spouse. It's a complete circle - we need it all to make it what God intended. And that true completeness must be found in a spiritual connection with God first and foremost.
Favorite quotes:
"Healthy sexuality is not just about our attitudes toward our bodies then, but also, and perhaps more importantly about our attitudes toward God and towards our husband. Sex is really a relational thing that happens to involve our bodies far more than it is a physical thing that happens to have an impact on our relationship."
"Researchers have found that one of the best cures for migraines is sex. The sudden release and euphoria often stop the pain. Frequent sex even seems to prevent migraines."
"When you're alone, express gratitude much more than you express criticism."
"Ladies, if something is important to your husband, it should be important to you."
"The key to a passionate marriage is not to be as sexually adventurous as possible, but to be as passionate about God as possible."
"We've stopped being able to talk and solve problems, and the reason is usually quite simple: we've stopped doing things together. Two people can't solve a problem if they don't first have a foundation of liking each other and laughing together...we need to spend time together."
"The biggest 'should' in your life is about your marriage. You should be enjoying your husband...growing your marriage is the most important responsibility you have, so stop allowing your husband to come last in your list of priorities."
"Children fare best when their parents have a rock-solid relationship. Do not let your children displace your husband."
"A man needs to feel like you're glad you married him, not just because you love him, but because you've looked around and have honestly concluded he is the perfect one for you. You appreciate who he is and what he does. Tied up in all of that is his sexuality. It's hard for him to believe that you're proud of him and that you're happy to be married to him if you don't also want him sexually. If you don't want him like that, then you really don't think he's a capable guy, a strong guy, an amazing guy. You just want to be married to somebody, but you don't actually respect him anymore."
"Your bedroom should be the most important room in the house...make your bedroom a romantic oasis where you can escape into each other's arms, not a place where all the stuff in the house gets dumped, making you feel guilty every time you see it all. This is a place to reserve just for you and your husband and your sexual side of your relationship."
"We take are to look attractive for strangers but not our husbands. But think about this, ladies: who should you be dressing up for? Shouldn't it be e one who is actually supposed to appreciate your body?"
"what do you wear to bed? Do you take care to wear something attractive? Or do you look dumpy?"
"Being ugly does not make you holier. And looking like a frazzled, overwrought, unkempt housewife on e outside does not make your heart godlier on the inside."
Sunday, May 5, 2013
mental energy
In a true life account of a woman writing about her experience teaching children with emotional problems and mental illnesses she says, "Most children with emotional difficulties use so much energy coping that there simply isn't much left for learning. Additionally, other syndromes often occur in conjunction with psychological problems, either contributing to them or resulting from them". This statement made me realize that people don't just automatically know that. People don't know what it's like to be in a brain that isn't working like their own unless someone tells them. It occured to me that maybe someone should tell them. So, let me tell you about it.
A brain that fights a mental illness (specifically I can refer to bipolar 2) is constantly - ALL THE TIME - using a massive amount of energy to get through the day. I know your brain does as well. I'm not implying you don't use your brain. But our brains use massive amounts of energy doing the simple things that you don't even consider important enough to focus on. The things that you are able to accomplish rapidly might take us much longer. The things that come naturally to you are likely overwhelming to us.
I know it's difficult to comprehend. In all honesty, I don't think most people really believe it. I know some people might think it's an excuse or all in the head (baha). But it's real, people. That friend or relative or church sister with a mental battle is telling you the truth. Sometimes, she just can't handle it. And we can't believe you can accomplish all you do without feeling like we do when we attempt the same thing! It makes us feel inadequate and guilty even though you don't have a clue that's what we are thinking. We want to be able to do it all too! We aren't lazy or ignorant, we are just using all that energy up already and you don't know how to tell.
The largest amount of our energy is spent on getting through a day. Period. That's it. Getting through the day. What do I mean? Ok. Specifics.
Waking up and saying, ok, this day is good. Getting out of bed. Taking a shower. Figuring out what to wear. Fixing our hair. Deciding what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Preparing for the next time we will interact with people. Going outside. Running over the days plans over and over again to make sure it's all in place. Cooking, cleaning, etc.
That's just a few of the everyday things - good things! - that take massive amounts of energy. And those things are the easiest things in comparison to the rest of life. Those are everyday so we know what to expect even when we don't know what to choose.
Then you have the special occasions which require way more energy than you typically use to do the same. Days and events where people are involved - Sundays, Wednesdays, grocery and laundry days, meetings and youth days, and all those other engagements. These are blessed events. Full of joy and spiritual encouragement. But it takes more energy than you can imagine. It takes complete focus to get through it. Our brains are in fast mode to keep up with all of it at once!
So, my brain isn't perfect. It lacks everything it needs to be fully normal. That's fact.
It just means that my life must be structured and simple. It means that my priorities are my God and my husband. Sometimes, I just can't handle anymore. And when I do handle more, I lose it. I shut down. I am left with nothing. My brain begs me not to overwhelm it but I see all the things others can do and I do it anyway. Then I neglect my personal spiritual life and my husband because my brain can't do three things at once. That's right - three things. You can four or five things at once and be on top of it all.
Now, just because my brain goes in overload mode before yours does not mean I am incapable. My brain still loves to learn, loves to take in new things. My body likes to work and workout. My brain can't keep my moods straight and due to that, lacks the ability to make many things happen. It requires more energy to focus on the simple decisions of life. (Hence, my love and desire for a simpler life.) It means the things I pick are truly important to me. It means I have to learn to say no or overload mode will shut me down - sometimes for a long time.
So, that's what it's like for a bipolar fighter. Mental energy is hard to understand since it isn't a seen thing. There is no way for someone to look at you and say, oh, you are almost out of mental energy. You learn your limits. You figure out when you run out and do your best not to get there again. And if you're like me, you get there again and the husband says you have to start saying no. You know it's true because life isn't fun in the overload mode. There's nothing fun about crashing and crying because you've run your brain past empty.
With a lifetime ahead, I know there must be limits. And guess what, my mental fighters, it's ok to have limits! God knows you have limits and only expects your best, not more than you can handle. You find that limit and don't cross it. You stay in the boundaries and do all you can to the glory of God.
Life is fun for us! Life is huge and full and sometimes overwhelming. It's so good though. We know it's good and we want to revel in the good. We are joyful and excited about life. We just use more mental energy than others in day to day life. So what. As long as you get it and as long as we get it, it doesn't have to be a bad thing.
Now you know. It's not made up. It's been scientifically proven. It's ok though. Because now you know.
A brain that fights a mental illness (specifically I can refer to bipolar 2) is constantly - ALL THE TIME - using a massive amount of energy to get through the day. I know your brain does as well. I'm not implying you don't use your brain. But our brains use massive amounts of energy doing the simple things that you don't even consider important enough to focus on. The things that you are able to accomplish rapidly might take us much longer. The things that come naturally to you are likely overwhelming to us.
I know it's difficult to comprehend. In all honesty, I don't think most people really believe it. I know some people might think it's an excuse or all in the head (baha). But it's real, people. That friend or relative or church sister with a mental battle is telling you the truth. Sometimes, she just can't handle it. And we can't believe you can accomplish all you do without feeling like we do when we attempt the same thing! It makes us feel inadequate and guilty even though you don't have a clue that's what we are thinking. We want to be able to do it all too! We aren't lazy or ignorant, we are just using all that energy up already and you don't know how to tell.
The largest amount of our energy is spent on getting through a day. Period. That's it. Getting through the day. What do I mean? Ok. Specifics.
Waking up and saying, ok, this day is good. Getting out of bed. Taking a shower. Figuring out what to wear. Fixing our hair. Deciding what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Preparing for the next time we will interact with people. Going outside. Running over the days plans over and over again to make sure it's all in place. Cooking, cleaning, etc.
That's just a few of the everyday things - good things! - that take massive amounts of energy. And those things are the easiest things in comparison to the rest of life. Those are everyday so we know what to expect even when we don't know what to choose.
Then you have the special occasions which require way more energy than you typically use to do the same. Days and events where people are involved - Sundays, Wednesdays, grocery and laundry days, meetings and youth days, and all those other engagements. These are blessed events. Full of joy and spiritual encouragement. But it takes more energy than you can imagine. It takes complete focus to get through it. Our brains are in fast mode to keep up with all of it at once!
So, my brain isn't perfect. It lacks everything it needs to be fully normal. That's fact.
It just means that my life must be structured and simple. It means that my priorities are my God and my husband. Sometimes, I just can't handle anymore. And when I do handle more, I lose it. I shut down. I am left with nothing. My brain begs me not to overwhelm it but I see all the things others can do and I do it anyway. Then I neglect my personal spiritual life and my husband because my brain can't do three things at once. That's right - three things. You can four or five things at once and be on top of it all.
Now, just because my brain goes in overload mode before yours does not mean I am incapable. My brain still loves to learn, loves to take in new things. My body likes to work and workout. My brain can't keep my moods straight and due to that, lacks the ability to make many things happen. It requires more energy to focus on the simple decisions of life. (Hence, my love and desire for a simpler life.) It means the things I pick are truly important to me. It means I have to learn to say no or overload mode will shut me down - sometimes for a long time.
So, that's what it's like for a bipolar fighter. Mental energy is hard to understand since it isn't a seen thing. There is no way for someone to look at you and say, oh, you are almost out of mental energy. You learn your limits. You figure out when you run out and do your best not to get there again. And if you're like me, you get there again and the husband says you have to start saying no. You know it's true because life isn't fun in the overload mode. There's nothing fun about crashing and crying because you've run your brain past empty.
With a lifetime ahead, I know there must be limits. And guess what, my mental fighters, it's ok to have limits! God knows you have limits and only expects your best, not more than you can handle. You find that limit and don't cross it. You stay in the boundaries and do all you can to the glory of God.
Life is fun for us! Life is huge and full and sometimes overwhelming. It's so good though. We know it's good and we want to revel in the good. We are joyful and excited about life. We just use more mental energy than others in day to day life. So what. As long as you get it and as long as we get it, it doesn't have to be a bad thing.
Now you know. It's not made up. It's been scientifically proven. It's ok though. Because now you know.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
why I write
I think sometimes people get the wrong idea about my words. It's not unlikely to be misunderstood and though it leaves me frustrated, I know it will happen time and time again. But I write my heart anyway. This is why.
When I look at the Bible, the people, the experiences, the life lessons, I see imperfect men. They loved the Lord. They were giving their lives to his service but they sinned. They were joyful to be his children but they hurt. The Bible is a book of not only commandments, but confessions and comfort written to you and I.
Elijah was tired of running and fighting evil. He became discouraged. He gave up. The Lord intervened and gave him what he needed. God didn't berate Elijah for asking God to let him die. He showed Elijah is was possible to continue in his mission as a prophet of God. And Elijah did.
Job was a dedicated servant of the Lord but he lost all his riches, his family, even his friends. Throughout his losses, he never forgot God. But you know what? He asked God questions because he didn't understand. And it's recorded for us that in doing so, he never sinned.
Peter, an apostle and close friend of Jesus, time after time sinned against God. Yet, he knew he did. He knew he didn't want to hurt Christ so he changed. He ends up being the one God chooses to preach the sermon on the day of Pentecost. This is the man who denied Jesus. His life was imperfect but he never gave up his faith. God used him for great things. He knew man needed to see a man of humility and integrity stand before them to teach them about Him.
Then you have David. We all know the sins David committed. We all know the many psalms that are written by him that confess those sins. Not only are they confessions, there are ploys for help. David was discouraged. He asked God why was he alone, why he didn't answer. But each time he comes to the conclusion that God is there. God is all powerful and due all the praise. David was a man after God's own heart despite all that happened in his life. David's psalms are some of the greatest encouragements to us in our times of trouble.
If God chose for these men's stories to be recorded for a lifetime, is it not also good for us to tell of our sins and our struggles? God knew we would feel like these men. God knew we would fall and get back up. And God told us to confess our faults one to another. He told us to bear one another's burdens. He demands honesty and condemns the pride that keeps us from opening our hearts. We are tormented by life trials and temptations but never ask for help. We have been given a whole book of examples of men who did fall down but we are embarrassed to admit we do as well. I know why we are embarrassed. It's because others look down upon us and make us appear weak in the faith. They feel the need to tell us what we already know and don't tell us what we need to hear. But we can be different. We can show the world that we aren't picture perfect people. We make wrong decisions but then we make it right. We are in despair sometimes but in the end we know He is there. It never means we don't cherish our Christian life and all that it entails.
My life is a very good one. I thank my Heavenly Father for my cup that overflows. I am not sad and miserable. Never do I wish anyone to think me ungrateful. Never do I want people to believe I sit around and mope my insecurities, my failures. I live a beautiful life that is marred by my own shortcomings and the Devils attempts to take me away from Him with earthly malfunctions. Yet, I love my life. I love my husband, my friends and family, my church family, my physical and spiritual blessings.
That's why I write. I will share my thoughts and my feelings because you need to know I am not perfect but I am blessed and happy. I am afraid of what people will do and say about me but it can't stop me. I must keep writing.
When I look at the Bible, the people, the experiences, the life lessons, I see imperfect men. They loved the Lord. They were giving their lives to his service but they sinned. They were joyful to be his children but they hurt. The Bible is a book of not only commandments, but confessions and comfort written to you and I.
Elijah was tired of running and fighting evil. He became discouraged. He gave up. The Lord intervened and gave him what he needed. God didn't berate Elijah for asking God to let him die. He showed Elijah is was possible to continue in his mission as a prophet of God. And Elijah did.
Job was a dedicated servant of the Lord but he lost all his riches, his family, even his friends. Throughout his losses, he never forgot God. But you know what? He asked God questions because he didn't understand. And it's recorded for us that in doing so, he never sinned.
Peter, an apostle and close friend of Jesus, time after time sinned against God. Yet, he knew he did. He knew he didn't want to hurt Christ so he changed. He ends up being the one God chooses to preach the sermon on the day of Pentecost. This is the man who denied Jesus. His life was imperfect but he never gave up his faith. God used him for great things. He knew man needed to see a man of humility and integrity stand before them to teach them about Him.
Then you have David. We all know the sins David committed. We all know the many psalms that are written by him that confess those sins. Not only are they confessions, there are ploys for help. David was discouraged. He asked God why was he alone, why he didn't answer. But each time he comes to the conclusion that God is there. God is all powerful and due all the praise. David was a man after God's own heart despite all that happened in his life. David's psalms are some of the greatest encouragements to us in our times of trouble.
If God chose for these men's stories to be recorded for a lifetime, is it not also good for us to tell of our sins and our struggles? God knew we would feel like these men. God knew we would fall and get back up. And God told us to confess our faults one to another. He told us to bear one another's burdens. He demands honesty and condemns the pride that keeps us from opening our hearts. We are tormented by life trials and temptations but never ask for help. We have been given a whole book of examples of men who did fall down but we are embarrassed to admit we do as well. I know why we are embarrassed. It's because others look down upon us and make us appear weak in the faith. They feel the need to tell us what we already know and don't tell us what we need to hear. But we can be different. We can show the world that we aren't picture perfect people. We make wrong decisions but then we make it right. We are in despair sometimes but in the end we know He is there. It never means we don't cherish our Christian life and all that it entails.
My life is a very good one. I thank my Heavenly Father for my cup that overflows. I am not sad and miserable. Never do I wish anyone to think me ungrateful. Never do I want people to believe I sit around and mope my insecurities, my failures. I live a beautiful life that is marred by my own shortcomings and the Devils attempts to take me away from Him with earthly malfunctions. Yet, I love my life. I love my husband, my friends and family, my church family, my physical and spiritual blessings.
That's why I write. I will share my thoughts and my feelings because you need to know I am not perfect but I am blessed and happy. I am afraid of what people will do and say about me but it can't stop me. I must keep writing.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
just another day, just another battle
Some days the inadequacies seem to multiply. When people exhaust you, fears keep you disabled and talents seem so few, it leaves you empty. You could be chugging along and all the sudden, one thing happens, another thing happens and you're unsure again. When you see others around you that are your age with "normal" lives, you feel that you live in a different world completely. When they have no fears, no ailments, no mental setbacks, you feel worthless. On top of that, you have such a different lifestyle. The weird factor just keeps creeping higher. Though in the same place in life, you feel out of place. You wonder just exactly what you aren't doing right and why do you have to fight this mental disease everyday. Why can't you be the normal one and when will you be able to make it through a day without some fear coming to the surface. You've never been the one to ask, Why God?, but now you ask is there anything good that can come of this, God? Can I be all He expects? Can I not feel guilty my entire life for not being like everyone else? Can I not feel these small pangs of jealousy that are completely uninvited? Can I really fight this the rest of my life? Do I have to, God? You want so much to hide away, to not fake it anymore, to just let it all out with no worries of people's expectations or curious misunderstandings. You don't want the pity, the sad faces for you. You want to be the normal one for once. You want to feel like the strong one.
You don't want to fight it anymore.
But you have to. You have to keep on. You have to face it and beat it down the next morning again. You have to do what you can do and leave the rest behind. You have to accept that it's enough to be faithful to Him. You have to forget that others won't understand and move past it.
You have to believe that.
You have to.
You don't want to fight it anymore.
But you have to. You have to keep on. You have to face it and beat it down the next morning again. You have to do what you can do and leave the rest behind. You have to accept that it's enough to be faithful to Him. You have to forget that others won't understand and move past it.
You have to believe that.
You have to.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
he waits
You shouldn't be late for your defense attorney, but The Lawyer who pleads your case stands waiting.
You couldn't be late for a court appearance, but The Judge is waiting to hear you.
You cannot be late for a doctor's appointment, but The Great Physician waits to cure you.
You'd be embarrassed to walk in late after a wedding began, but The Groom stands waiting to renew the vows.
You wouldn't dare be late for work, but The Book that evaluates you is waiting to be opened.
You can't let your kids be late for school, but The Master Teacher sits waiting to give you True Knowledge.
You mustn't be late to meet with your counselor, but The Comforter still waits to comfort you.
He longs to teach you from His Word every Sunday morning for class and worship and Wednesday night.
He weeps for each time you make something else keep you from being on time.
He wants to see you hungering for His Word.
He longs to see you each time in His presence.
You couldn't be late for a court appearance, but The Judge is waiting to hear you.
You cannot be late for a doctor's appointment, but The Great Physician waits to cure you.
You'd be embarrassed to walk in late after a wedding began, but The Groom stands waiting to renew the vows.
You wouldn't dare be late for work, but The Book that evaluates you is waiting to be opened.
You can't let your kids be late for school, but The Master Teacher sits waiting to give you True Knowledge.
You mustn't be late to meet with your counselor, but The Comforter still waits to comfort you.
He longs to teach you from His Word every Sunday morning for class and worship and Wednesday night.
He weeps for each time you make something else keep you from being on time.
He wants to see you hungering for His Word.
He longs to see you each time in His presence.
“Depend on it, my hearer, you never will go to heaven unless you are prepared to worship Jesus Christ as God.” ~ Charles Spurgeon
"Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms. For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods...o come, let us worship and bow down:let us kneel before the Lord our maker." - Psalm 95:2,3,6
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